Secondary Trauma and Compassion Fatigue
As Jesus taught the disciples in John 13:34 he told them, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another…By this all will know you are my disciples.”
Compassion, sympathy and empathy are all encompassed into the innate character of God and as disciples we share these traits with others. Within this part of His nature, we experience His mercy and loving kindness. As we come alongside of others in this love, we may be at risk of developing secondary trauma.
When we open ourselves up to love someone who has a trauma background, we also open our heart to experience their trauma. We can feel their trauma indirectly by hearing the details of their experience and without realizing we may find ourselves experiencing their trauma inside of us. For example, I know of a psychologist who began to have intrusive memories, hyperarousal, nightmares and flashbacks after 911 even though she was not present during the bombing. Her secondary trauma was a result of hearing her clients discuss their first-hand experience with her.
If we find ourselves experiencing the symptoms of intrusive memories, hyperarousal, nightmares and flashbacks, we need to take notice that our body is telling us something. The continued exposure to other people’s trauma is taking a toll and we have entered secondary trauma.
Compassion fatigue and secondary trauma are generally interchangeable, but with a slightly different nuance. With compassion fatigue not only can we experience secondary trauma from caring for someone who’s traumatic experience causes us to become overly fatigued. The day-to-day responsibilities of caring for the ever present and continual demand to give compassion, sympathy and empathy can become draining.
Those who care for others living with chronic illness, have disabilities and anxiety or depression are at risk for compassion fatigue. Also, if you are a first responder, work in the health community, or have a very demanding job it’s important to manage your compassion stress. We all have limits and being aware of what we can handle and what we can’t is important. We need to recognize when we need help for our own triggers and mental health, and ask for it.
In an article from verywellmind entitled, Compassion Fatigue: The Toll of Caring Too Much by Kendra Cherry, MSEd, she describes the difference between burnout and compassion fatigue. Below is what she says.
Burnout
Tends to build slowly over time
Caused by occupational stress and overwork
Creates work dissatisfaction
Linked to excessive pressure
Leads to loss of motivation, energy, and interest
Compassion Fatigue
May occur suddenly
Caused by caring for people who are suffering
Creates life dissatisfaction
Happens when people feel helpless or out of control
Leads to lack of empathy and PTSD symptoms
It can be emotionally exhausting to offer compassionate care for others and it can lead to feeling hopeless or helpless. Though being a disciple of Christ comes with the expectation to serve in compassion, sympathy and empathy God desires us to check in with Him to see where we’re at in the big picture. Our goal is to do no harm and that includes us.
Some good ways to check in with God:
Communicate with God through prayer and have a prayer partner you meet with weekly. She doesn’t have to live near you. Mine is in another state.
Ask yourself, “Where do I feel the stress in my body?” It can be anywhere, but most often in the stomach, chest, back, neck, jaw and head. This is your body telling you something is off and God’s way of helping us turn toward Him.
Scripture is always helpful as we memorize and meditate over it to connect with God.
Take deep breaths in and out. This is one of the ways God has given us to help us move from the fight, flight or fawn area of the brain where we tend to experience stress. Breathing helps us relax our nervous system and aids in moving out of the lower region of the brain and into the upper neocortex where we can begin thinking more clearly.
How’s your sleep? Not getting enough sleep can wreak havoc with our nervous system affecting our behavior, mental capacity, social interactions, and physical health. Matthew 11:28-30,
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
One last thought about secondary trauma. It is extremely important when we are talking with someone who has experienced past complex trauma that we take into consideration their being vulnerable. When they choose to share from their past those same feelings may arise as if the abuse happened in this very moment. We need to be sensitive to how we might be a trigger for them.
It can take a lot for someone who has been chronically abused to understand trust. When we serve others in the name of Christ, we are asking them to trust us. It was in an intimate relationship that they were harmed and we are asking them to enter a relationship with us, and an intimate one with Him. And it can be especially challenging when the church has been behind the abuse. Diane Langberg is a Christian psychologist who specializes in complex trauma. Something she said I have found helpful. “Teach me what it is like to be you.”
We want to build a connection where those we serve feel seen, heard, understood and cared for. And we also want to be sure we feel that God cares for us in the same way. “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21